Smitten by a million miles

Maybe in another time, another place, we could have found out if it could have been something.

But as the bruises fade, the realisation grows, a thousand miles separates us, and neither of us can move.

And if it had have been another time, another place, i don't think it would have been the same.

Give me tonight

Things are nice, we're getting along. As the night gets older we learn more about each other.

The kicker, though, is that she is returning to her city tomorrow, many hours away.

We fool around on some cold wet grass, on hill which we nearly fall off, overlooking some lights flickering on the harbour.

Things feel right. We connect, we zing. But mostly we alternate between making each other laugh and making each other horny. I feel happy.

Existance is purpose. We live for this one night. Then drift off, into different spheres, dreaming of crossing paths.

Somewhere in the back of my mind, a voice is saying, but what if, WHAT IF, you two would be happy to live together for rest of existance? Give it a purpose? Money and career apppear selfish after that.

"Man" as a nickname

"Hey man, what's up?"
"Yes i am a man. Representative of that which we call 'mankind'. Another cog in a 60 million year evolutionary machine. I have only the most superficial of differences with Napoleon, Hitler, Tutenkarmen and Nicolas Cage. I think and walk freely. My mind and thumbs oppose. I live in colony of us creatures. I am man. All my brothers and sisters are also man. I am a speck of dust in an infinite cosmos. I am to the universe as the entire mankind is to the universe. It's like the difference between 1/123456789 and 1/123456788. Nothing."

Walking dead

"I really have to apologise for that text message the other night. I was pretty drunk, had a bit of a personal...you know..umm"
"Don't worry, its no big deal"
But i want it to be a big deal.




"I didn't want to see you for a little while, um, i've got a boyfriend, it makes things a bit...different."
"Oh."
"I..I've liked you for a little while, well, used too, i mean i like your company, i want us to be friends but i needed some space."
"Hey thats ok. It hurts me, but i think i know what you mean. I had a crush on you, its probably good we spaced out a bit.."
"Used too? Are you over .... me? Um, how.... or what made you get over that?"
Sigh. "Same things i always use when i want to forget. Alcohol and sad music. And when that stops working alcohol and writing sad music. And when that-"
"Ok, i get the picture. Doesn't seem healthy."
"I'm not healthy"

Lonely

She said it wasn't a big deal. I guess she was just deflecting, but i want it to be a big deal. I want there to be some level of, hey, why?

Now all I can think about is another boy making her happy.