sunday nights are the worst...

....it take all the strength not to call you. You used to always say "Wot-cha doin'?" in a cheeky voice. I was never doing any thing interesting, or if i was i lied.

There is a pattern on the roof. I have discovered the dog constellation and the creepy person constellation and the Eiffel tower constellation. Once you see one pattern you can never see anything else unless you trick your brain, like you look above the dog and see a ship with a penguin for the captain, and the dog's tail becomes part of an anchor.

Self destruction can be difficult to achieve. I usually prefer to run. I'm never sure if i'm running away or running towards something, but i figure you can be doing both. I'm running away from you, from the heart ache, from what our relationship says about me. I'm running towards a new me, towards risk. I'm not entirely sure about this. Maybe i should stop running and try crawling back to you.

Every email i get, every phone call, every text message, i'm always hoping its from you. But even if it is from you i know that i'll respond out heart break and not out heartfulness. I still love you, as i hope to meet you walking down the street, but i know if we met i would channel the hurt of seeing you rather than the hurt of missing you.